Sarah Palin, Vice Presidential nominee

Sarah Palin, eh? Smart pick – and here’s why:

First, her primary asset isn’t the fact that she has a pair of tits and a uterus. It’s that she’s a Pro-Life, small government conservative. The fact that she has a pair of tits and a (well traveled – five kids) uterus is secondary.

See, the key difference between the Republican Party and the Democrat Party is that the Republican Party is bound by a specific ideology: Limited government, strong national defense, distrust of central power, and traditional values. (‘Course, the GOP often fails to implement this ideology, but it’s still the guiding force that drives the party’s base.) By contrast, the Democrats aren’t really bound by ideology – but by assorted left-leaning coalitions: Union workers, environmentalists, African Americans, feminists, social activists, etc. For the Democrats, many times these coalition members are in direct conflict with one another – for example, union workers would LOVE to drill, build and work in places that the environmentalists find abhorrent – but these groups have accepted the reality that the best way to advance their collective agendas is by supporting the Democratic Party. And more often than not, this agenda is predicated on receiving more federal funding & more federal protection.

If you notice, most Republican Presidential debates are between candidates arguing over who’s most in-line with the conservative ideology (“I’m the real conservative!” “No, I am!”) – while most Democrat Presidential debates revolve around who can best empathize with all the various groups in their coalition (“I’m the son of a mill worker!” “I’m from a town called Hope!”). It speaks volumes about the voting bases of both parties.

John McCain is NOT a conservative, which is why the far right & the talk-radio diehards have given him such a difficult time. Instead of being driven by a specific conservative ideology, McCain has his own ideology that GENERALLY falls in line with conservatives… but not always. Maybe 75% of the time. And in a coalition-type party, McCain would’ve been a slam-dunk Presidential selection, but he struggled to gain acceptance in a party where ideology is king. McCain essentially got the nod after every other major GOP candidate imploded.

By contrast, Governor Sarah Palin is a true conservative: Pro-Life, church-going, moose hunting, husband boinking, limited government, distrustful of government agencies, etc. She’ll fire-up the conservative base and motivate Farmer Wally and his 17 kids to load up the pickup truck and nail campaign signs to telephone poles on weeknights – while also motivating wealthy GOP contributors to open up their checkbook and donate to the McCain campaign. So that’s benefit number one.

Benefit number two, she adds youth, tits, and the possibility of attracting female voters (along with horny MILF hunters). She underscores McCain’s brand image of being a free-thinking maverick who is a completely separate entity from George W. Bush. And with Alaska world famous for housing vast energy reserves (as well as fugitive Dads ducking child support obligations), she can push energy-related issues to the forefront. Additionally, when the Democrats attack her, she has a ready-made retort: “The Good Old Boy network that now runs the Democrat Party clearly doesn’t believe that ANY woman is qualified to be Vice President in today’s America – but I’m here to prove them wrong.” Boom. All those middle-aged Hillary harpies will eat that shit up.

A good VP selection must do AT LEAST one of three things: Expand the Presidential nominee’s overall voting base, put a new state in play, or reinforce the Presidential nominee’s brand image. Palin accomplishes two out of the three. (And by contrast, Joe Biden accomplishes NONE of the three: He won’t attract new voters for Obama; Delaware was gonna vote for Obama anyway; and as someone who’s been a U.S. Senator for 35 frickin’ ears, he undercuts Obama’s message that Washington-is-broken-and-we-need-an-exciting-change.)

So she’s a good, strong pick by McCain. And plus, she also has those tits.

-JKD